Yesterday was a rough day, and not just because Daylight Savings Time, i.e. the worst idea Ben Franklin or G.V. Hudson ever had, started.
Tommy came home from work yesterday to tell me that Jason, his best friend since he was in t-ball and Cub Scouts, is at MD Anderson, one of the best cancer treatment centers in the country. He went in to the ER late Saturday night and was admitted around midnight. A round of tests later, he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
Its a complicated story, but he's been reassigned to a new doctor who's putting him through even more tests today. ALL is most common is children under 5, so they're trying to be absolutely certain that this man, in the prime of his life, really does have this disease.
We went to see him last night, and it wasn't an easy visit. What do you say to the person sitting in that hospital bed, hooked up to all those beeping machines? I realized last night that I had no idea what to say to him, and I'm a constant talker. I've realized that in most cases, I talk to cover up silences and tensions in different groups - I turn into some kind of demented stand-up comic, one joke after another to fill the void. But last night I just couldn't do it. I wanted to find something to fix this, but there wasn't anything I could do.
Jason married one of my (former) best friends from junior high on, and their marriage has dissolved into a battlefield, with their children, a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son, caught in carefully neutral territory. But last night, she relented and brought the kids to the hospital with her for a visit.
When they came in, Jason's daughter stopped about three feet from the bed, and with her blue eyes wide, she asked in her little girl voice if Daddy was alright. It broke my heart. I can't even imagine how Jason kept it together.
That has to be the single hardest thing I've ever seen a parent do - smile at his daughter and say yes, Daddy's fine.
I wish I had some kind of grander spin on this, but right now, everything seems small and inadequate. Jason is such a strong guy. That has to be enough for now.
I have no idea if anyone reads this besides my husband. But if you're reading this, please pray for Jason. I know we will be, but every prayer helps.
