Shell

Something really great happened today - my Aunt Shell created a Facebook account. 


Now here's the thing - I thank my mother on a regular basis for not having a Facebook account. The Baby Boomers ruined Facebook, everyone knows that. It just wasn't as much fun anymore when it wasn't just us college kids messing around and posting embarrassing pictures of each other. All of a sudden, we had to monitor what we said, because holy crap!, our parents could see it. (Well that and the whole potential employers checking out your Facebook. That was a real buzz kill too.)


But after the shock of all that, it turns out that sometimes having the old folks on is kinda fun. Its a great way to stay in touch with people, and for better or for worse, people tend to be more open on the internet. 


So I was really, really excited to see my Aunt Shell's profile.


I have lots of extended family, but Shell is in my Top 3 of favorites. She lived with my parents for 2 years after I was born so that my mom could work full-time, and while I never confused her for my mom, I've always had a very close, very special relationship with her. When I was little, she didn't talk to me in baby talk - she spoke to me as if I was a tiny little adult. When I went to college in Oklahoma City, I spent at least a third of weekends at her and my Uncle Rick's house. I would always bring my dirty laundry with the best intentions of doing it myself, like a grown-up, but she would always sneak in and do it before I'd even thought about it. When I was planning our wedding, my own mother acted as if my getting married at 24 was some kind of horrible trick to make her feel old - my Aunt Shell listened to me go on and on about little details, bought me a stack of wedding planning books, and cried when she saw me in my dress. My mother loves me, a lot, but she has a tendency to shy away from strong emotion and general girly stuff. Aunt Shell is the one I go to when I need to have a good cry, go shopping, or even get drunk and watch a chick flick because it was that kind of week.


When I saw that friend request from her, all of this came rolling up from where I've been pushing it down. Since the wedding, we really haven't traveled at all - with Tommy working in grocery, big family holidays like Thanksgiving are not times that we can travel. I haven't seen Shell in person since the my grandparents' anniversary party more than a year ago, and the thing I've been trying not to admit is that I miss her so much more than I can ever say.


I spend a lot of emotional energy not thinking about how much I miss people that are so incredibly important to me - Uncle Larry, Aunt Karen, Erin, Diane, Ashley... I usually feel a little bit better because I can at least keep up with them on Facebook. And Shell is finally on Facebook where we can stay in touch that way, but for right now -


I just miss my Aunt Shell. And I can't really do anything about it except write this entry, and hope that she knows just how much she means to me.